The Universe of ME (aka. hamstar)

11 more days

2006-06-23T14:06:00.000-07:00

KOREA vs SWITZERLAND
Live (REVIEW)

korea si bei suay

and the assistant referee can hand in resignation letter liao

so its all over for e asians in WC 2006. -bugger-

japan deserves to be kicked out judging by the way they played but korea totally had a chance to revival. dat is before the lousy assist. referee kayu go raise his dumb flag n had to haf the feild official to overrule it. and all in a split sec the whole def. was down. defenders stopped n keeper guard down. but when he realised the lousy folly of it all it was already too late. the result was a heated arguement btw korean defenders n keeper n a rather sympathetic commentator. muz say frei wasn't exactly showing much sportsmanship when ran around screaming his head off happily(closer to the korean fans for some apparent reason which i seriously dunno (unless he wans a beating (or maybe a few eggs down his jersey (when m i gonna stop this??))) after his score, which was the result of the lousiest fluke in WC 2006 up till now. to top off all that france juz beaten togo 2 v 0 somewhr the otherside of germany n wif a whooping 5 pts they juz kicked out my favourite asian team (actually thr really izen much for me to choose frm in the 1st place).

So Anw

tml's the opening match of the top 16 with the host kickstarting it n here's the schedule:

Germany v Sweden Sat Jun 24
Argentina v Mexico Sat Jun 24
England v Ecuador Sun Jun 25
Portugal v Netherlands Sun Jun 25

Italy v Australia Mon Jun 26
Switzerland v Ukraine Mon Jun 26
Brazil v Ghana Tue June 27
Spain v France Tue June 27

11 more days to go ...

2006-06-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

over E hedge

e OMEN

bloody hell
gtg watch ALL movies b4 tis season ends~!!! (b4 i get banished to the depths of book-land after june hols) and organic chem altho interesting but damn big chunk of crap la... dunno can swallow by tis june anot.. hope dun choke can liao lorr..

ANW
pulled out of choir. dunno how jrs gonna die on concert day.. some more gtg back 4 some handover. like a bloody splinter up ur arse; irritating crap.

come to think of it...
choir really no hope liao la. jrs all no style no say no talent. shall not go comment on the seniors... and the teachers are quite slack on discipline on the overall. really cant c how we're supposed to get out of a deadlock like dat la.

kk
shall go slp
nite (hu evr's readin)

gone r d exams...

2006-05-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

- rOars of Evil lauGhther -
.
.
.
.
exams
are
finally
OVER~!!
.
yes yes, due to overwhelming feedback and demand i am finally blogging once again yada yada~. but muz say given the fact i've been slacking all the way and still can score avrgly goes to show u my absolutely ingenius and incomprehensible intellect.
.
.
(-_- )"
.
.
anw nth much to do after the exams. most probably get a few losers to go watch da vinci and xmen3... and not to 4get all impt maple story ( haf to max my svage blow at least XD).
.
.
~wElL_:
.
going to pia maple liao... get back to me if any1 wans to watch movie. bB:)

2006-03-24T19:27:00.000-08:00

I love my toilet.

My best friend's always in there.

Actually,

Hes my only friend.

We love playing hide-and-seek.

But he always loses.

Partly because he keeps hiding in the same place;

above my basin in the wooden frame.

Hes the only one who listens to me.

I would sit on my lided toilet seat in the centre of the 4 dead walls,

echoing to him my day's worth of renewed hatred and disgust for the world,

and always knowing hes always there listening.

I realy cherish my friend.

Hes the only one who wouldn't shun me,

the only one who accepts me for who i am,

the only one who would ever touch me ever so gently...

I love my toilet. I really do.

back

2006-03-22T04:19:00.000-08:00

YESH

im back~!!! -_-" lols...

Anw was away so long coz i was grounded... and partly coz im starting to be hardworking and refraining from using the gd-o-com (miracle...).

Com wasnt really locked la juz dosent haf msn no more... which in other words mean s its useless to me. So figured i'ld be nice and update - after a long long while. lols

ahhhh. gtg. use the other com go find lyrics for audrey... bb :)

2006-03-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

rmb. i really can. lols~

slacky way of updating...

feeling lousy... again

2006-02-19T05:36:00.000-08:00

feeling lousy

again

i think im a failure la. i cant control anything in my life. evrything dat can go wrong is going wrong. i feel so unwanted... sometimes even by myself. small little things u observe arnd u tell u how ur being seen n judge, labelled and branded. i hate this feeling. wanting to fit in but yet sticking out on the sore side. may be luffing away wif acquaintances 1 moment but go home n sit in front of the com (like now), cant help but reflect n think: am i accepted? smtimes i look at how diverse the social life of certain ppl arnd n tell myself y dun i haf dat? am i... hateful? irritating? i dunno. i so badly wanna noe how ppl think of me, but yet shun the tot. so afraid dat all i'll get is a spit on the face n criticised...

i hate myself - i really do

dilema

2006-02-15T05:31:00.000-08:00

dunno wads wrong wif me.

voices in my head.

keep telling me stuff lately.

telling me bout how much i dun deserve any kindness.

any concern

any love

i dont noe.

i tot i was over this long ago. guess its back. or maybe it was always there. i dunno. i wanna hide frm the world altogether. juz to protect myself frm the critical eyes dat may set upon me. juz to noe im not judge or branded as some loser. juz to haf a peace of mind...

as i said im confused. or it could all be in my head...

2006-02-08T03:47:00.000-08:00

wait

need to catch my breath 1st

1st - slept only 5 hrs a day for the past 3 days in a row and currently dying of migrainal attacks

2nd - had to complain about it and not go shopping wif nu er

3rd - fought wif bro juz now over some lousy small issue and still breathing heavily

IS THERE ANYBODY WHO CAN CUT ME SOME SLACK?!

tml got test. but if i dun catch proper slp by tonite this may probably be the last entry u c in this blog. my headaches r growing rapidly unbearable. tired n troubled this whole damn week. tests, headache, her, problems of all sorts. i need a break.

i need it so bad

if ur reading pls 4gif me k... i noe im wrong... -sorry

2006-02-07T05:39:00.000-08:00

wanted to hate him 1

so wanted to lor

but den realised was clouded by anger

realised i was being unreasonable

wanna thank the evil 1 for telling me dat

feel rather ashamed of myself

jr bi wo hai hui xiang...

shall not bother

too tired to anw

let nature take its course...

- thx meanie

to hate or not to hate

2006-02-06T05:50:00.000-08:00

to hate or not to hate

dat is the qns

i certainly dun hate her;
to cute to hate.
even if i wanted to
dat smile of hers would haf clouded my anger.

but wad abt him?
the guy -
hu foiled my plans
went against me
vie for her attention
shld i hate him?

but den come to think again its not his fault
it was she hu chose him
she hu conked this up
she hu broke my heart...

den the predictable qns comes to mind:
whr was God's hand in this matter?
i dun c him;
not on my side dat is
but den i dawned on me -
im not gd enuf

i dunno wad to do
emotions of stoicism wells up
everything now seems dull
engulfed bit by bit into the abyss of depression...

hus to blame den?
not her
not him
not GOD

i guess i always mess things up...

2006-02-04T09:30:00.000-08:00

so happy 2dae
chatted wif her
share thots bout stuff wif her
things i thot we'll nv talk about
things i haf reservations sharing wif closer ppl
nv thot i'll feel this...

open... to her
.

feel so at ease when talking to her
so assured
my shield
my mask
my barrier - all stripped
.

u noe how it feels like talking to sum1
how u speculate;
wild thots running thru ur mind

voices telling u things
making u doubt if dat person likes u or not
whether ur conversation is a nuisance to him or her?
when talking to her

i dont feel it

i feel so... safe
.

.
duwan this feeling to go away - i really dont.
but i guess reality bites
it bites so hard

too hard sometimes...

2006-02-03T05:09:00.000-08:00

juz found out.

seriously dun feel too gd rite now.

feel like crying.

feel so... wu nai.

im not gd enuf.

nv will be.

nv ever will

RULES: Express your love for SE7EN and get others to know more about you. =).Copy and Paste the following into your own blog and complete all SE7EN bullets of the SE7EN questions..Then, pick SE7EN ppl to pass it on! Have fun!

SE7EN things that make me smile:

1) her

2) her

3) her

4) her

5) her

6) her

7) her

SE7EN ways to win my heart (right now):

1) dun

2) bother

3) my

4) heart's

5) not

6) available

7) anymore

SE7EN things I believe in:

1) if u wan sum1 bad enuf, ur the only 1 to gif her happiness

2) no1's too gd 4 u if u really like her

3) ur nv unloved

4) nv feel dat ur love 4 her is a burden or embarrassment to her - love is nv embarassing

5) u haf the right to not interect wif ur rival

6) no right to be mean tho

7) God

SE7EN people I want to see right now:

1) her

2) her

3) her

4) her

5) her

6) her

7) her

SE7EN people who should also do this:

1) evill pammy

2) unfilial nu er

3) steak

4) dogg

5) tangerine

6) mei

7) chu ru (since u haf a new blogskin... lol)

2006-01-28T04:12:00.000-08:00

i am officially in a mental state of a sloth on a tree wif a totally un stimulated mind wif no brain activity in the slightest micro-bit. in other words- im bored.

*sighs

stuck in my aunties hse wif nth to do (nth interesting dat is...) its like the feeling is unwanted -obviously- but yet at the same time smth feels so peculiar, like im not supposed to feel this way... den it dawned upon me how much i anticipated the arrival of this time of the yr in my younger yrs - the games, the food, sights, sounds, relatives and frens, and yet now im so.... bored, totally feeling oblivious to the slightest tinge of any festive feelings. ok maybe the idea of receiving angpows tml is somewhat comforting but it still dozen beat the anxiety of the anxiety of cny when i was a kid.

juz a moment ago~

was groping ard the the 3-rm flat of my aunt when i decided dat there was absolutely nth i cud possibly find in these four concrete slabs dat cud entertain me, till the com materialised in front of me (thus explaining this really monotonuous entry, which is so unlike me if u were to study the pattern of my previous ones where i was much alive, much more myself, and thus it dawned upon me dat blogging cud oso be a time killer instead of juz a compilations of records of the happy times of my life, which revolves ard all perfect her, and thots keep running thru my head as i recollect her mysterious dark stare into space, thinking y shes so stupid ugly imperfect when shes not, unlike u hu read this supposedly short-msg-in-a-bracket till now.)

_Ok~*

wasted fifteen mins of my currently unfruitful and meaningless time - quite an achievement for a hamstar on the verge of death induced by bordem dun u think? +aPplauSe+ so if u so happen to chance upon this entry within a time frame of 4 hrs frm its entry time, feel free to contact via sms. much appreciated.

slack time~ arrives...

2006-01-26T02:41:00.000-08:00

Its time...

The time we've all been waiting for...

*SLACK TIME~!!!

sku ended 2day n it was like the end- slack time here i come!!! *jumps into couch n watches dvd till brians melt* All dat crazy barrages of tests, piling hw, stupid projects - gone wif the new yr. -tears of joy-

(>.<)

really feel a sigh of relieve lor... -haiz- all the time to slack man... msn-ing playing angpow-collecting... some more got familial warmth (juz crapping... lol)

juz came back frm lunch wif frenz, den tml going back to pri sku wif pri sku da hun hun go ka jiao old teachers, some more may go k-box... dozen seem alot but really is a treat for the poor rodent hu went thru so much in sku can... -humph-

k la k la juz came back frm lunch so sticky... go bath liao... -bb

*HAPPY_CNY~ peeps

my 1st nice entry hopes it keeps this way

2006-01-25T02:39:00.000-08:00

HAMSTAR VILLAGE
proudly presents

C . N . Y
year of the Poodle

-COMING SOON-
28/01/06

A joint production by Monster "Nian" and the old dudes of
ancient China. co-directed by hamstar and hamtaro.
Copyright of Ham-llywood, hamstar world and all of its family.
Uses limited to official movie screening and personal use only. Abusers open to persecution by the H.B.I.
All rights reserved.

CNY coming!!! u noe wad dat means... ang pows, Ang pows n of coz - more ANG POWs~!!! (sounds of cash register :ka-ching"-ing). of coz theres more to cny la... i not so materialistic can - candies pineapple tart steamboat and my personal fav: -BAK GUA- *salivates*

(-_-")

and u noe wad? things r looking UP-!!! (nv happens... till now dat is.)

no more test till cny over, hw load kept in check, chatted wif her 2day - it all juz seems too... smooth. some more the class finish a considerable amt of the board 2dae... lady luck is shining... all thx to osram.

some more got cheenis blog to make lor... so fun. lol. even got chris to come over tml to design the blogskin (still trying to poach steak over tho). wonder how a blog wif chi words on it wud look like... -rubs chin while staring into space in deep tot-

oOK~

allswell... finally. -applause- finally can end a entry on a happy note. and any1 wanna join me 4 the new movie?

tests tests TESTs~!!!

2006-01-23T23:43:00.000-08:00

got back my chi test ytd.

juz got back my maths test 2day.

gonna get back my ss test tml.

-dDiiEe-

haiz... all so sucky... can only blame i nv study lor... at least my chem's ok. den muz pray hard hard dat evry1 dies wif me 4 ss...
-mMuAhaHa-

den some more tml got 2 tests

*HANGS*

dats y poor me blogging now ltr cant slack liao... k la k la... down to work liao la... only can count the days till CNY arrives.

bYeE_+

tyty steak~!!!

2006-01-23T06:18:00.000-08:00

yEsh yeSh

this darn blog is FINALLY looking decent! after since... its creation!
so thx steak -html genius- (complimenting u only coz i duwanna treat u) lol.
but the darn video still cant work... haiz~ but as u all noe nth runs smoothly in a hamstar's life and dats the only reason u ppl r here to read this blog entry and luff at my miseries -EvilL ppL-

well, seems like things r starting to go as it shld be now... worse. the clogging up of late hw is finally taking its toll and i feel its fury evry passing day, when i open up my books, even as i speak... -eNds wiF a mYstErious hisS- but juz now finish ALL the darn work so its all gonna work out... i hope.

wad can i be thnkful 4... -scratches fury head-

well at least the new yr promotions of the w550i and my dad's soon-coming hp voucher plus his expired line has finally convinced him dat buying me a hp is the rite thing to do (of coz wif lotsa persuading on my part).

-OoH yEs-

how cud i 4get?! ANG POW time!!! the beautiful richly red envelopes stained wif a touch of gold... can smell it oreadi... -salivates- wah so much things to buy lor- mUahaha~!!! den reality sinks in:

30% - donate to bank
20% - feed piggy (bank)
10% - offertary
20% - offerings to the EVIL 1, to prevent me frm being slaughtered
(bdae prezzie 4 the meanie sop la...)

-siGhs-

so u c hor... ang pow lui oso hard to earn sia... but nvm. shall convince mum to lemme keep more of it frm the bank- lol

PS: Can anonymous find a better name next time?

tml's the concert... TKSS concert...

2006-01-19T05:50:00.000-08:00

-haiZ-

tml's the concert...

-haiZ-

tml's the stupid concert...

-haiZ-

tml's the stupid TKSS concert...

wasting my darn fri nite in VCH wif those losers 4 nth... all so arrogant and loser-ish...(hopes tes and bro dozen read this) haiz but wad can i say... juz packed finish my performing attire and still cant find a decent shoe bag. damn it.

but actually the worst thing bout tml is dat im afraid that we'll juz go up on stage and screw up in front tk... again. haiz. dunno y tenor juz cant sing lor... 1 sec dunno how to sing, totally. another 1 rather throathy. but at least 1's still ok la. den some more got a chinese scholar hu cant really sing... and worst of all they got me there 4 ornamental purposes... -zibei- lol... but still compete wif the fact dat we've got tis gay f*cking sec3 'guy'(debatable) hus 3/4 the time sick or lost his voice... and did i mention his attitude -SUX-. idiotic faggort... so bloody gay liao still dunno how to at least sing properly... i mean like sec3 liao la! supposed to be 1 of the ppl giving out sound lor... not only dun haf and nid ppl to cover his friggin voice... if he was a guy i'll juz punch him... but too bad i feel like slapping him... told myself nv to slap gers... haiz

haiya.... still cant believe im gonna waste my fri nite there... stupid... den some more tml gotta pass up eng compo, which determines my fate whether i g 4 tutorial anot. and frm last time ive gotta say its not easy getting a meeting-expectations frm the o'ganesan... to top it all off- the maths test tml!!! -applause-

-diE-

k la k la... gonna slp liao... hopefully i'll slp and dream snth pleasant... at least 1 thing gd dat haps to me b4 the day ends...

-nite-

call back la!!!

2006-01-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

hEyy

2dae was relatively a gd day; evrything went smoothly, no loser stepped on foot, din kena stayback 4 maths hw, chai din blow up... (yada yada yada). but den u all wuden bother to read on if its juz this all boring stuff rite? sadiatic morons...

so anw, 2dae while i was minding my own business flirting on msn as usual, the phone upstairs rang (i haf 2 lines, 1 upstairs and the other downstairs). bro went to pick it up and come down to tell me the bad news.

"eh, u got de jui any1 not? how come dat guy wanna look 4 UR dad ar? sounds angry lor... some middle age guy lei." after enjoying c-ing me dying of the anxiety of wad the hell is going on, evill bro decided to tell me dat the dude was to call the downstairs' line. But -as u all noe- he din call.

-sO-

im left here wif all the suspense of wth i did and wassup wif dat dude's call.

haiZ~

but anw wif a lil praying and affirmation frm God i decided to convince myself its alrite and nth will happen... howevr dats evr gonna be possible...

-ok-

nxt up on the sad stuff dat happen to the loser-ish hamstar reacently- so many more choir pracs. dun get me wrong. im fine wif going 4 pracs, juz dat the fact dat ill c "dat grp of ppl" pisses me off. so much. keep telling ppl to shuddup and they keep jk behind, toking chatting giggling. cant stand their bloody behavior la! whenevr i hear their bim/himbotic laughther in the midst of silence (btw no1 catches them 4 some apparent reason), juz feel like turning rnd and hurling abuses at them la... i mean like do wad u expect of us la- dats like so basic?

and dats juz the beginning la. they can dislike sum1- 4 them being them, when they din do anth at all la! and becoz of dat they like seal their fate 4 dat dude or duddette. this batch pass to the nxt grp, den keep spreading bout dat guys 'gayness' or dat gals 'bimbotic-ness', forming a vicious cycle den he or she 4evr in choir dunnid to be hold leadership post anymore. some more 'enjoy' some reputation which he din do anything to deserve. but i shall not hide the fact dat im biased against them la (especislly 1 particular person). but heyy- wad can i say?

they define wad is schoolyard politics and i totally hate it. haiz wad can i say... nth in mie life goes well. cant even get into the rite cca...

yesh... juz rmbered smth else...

IM-A-LOSER

i go to school and evryday i keep having these vibes dat i dun haf any real frenz... i mean like all haf other frenz dat seem to be more impt den me and the rest juz act like they're like acquiantances (ok i mean yea dats normal). but still i qns myself- do i really haf any frens which regard me as their best or close fren?

makes me feel so darn lousy evrytime... nv fails. den my imagination starts going wild and voices start telling much ime how suck and how im so unloved... not dat i dun agree wif them... feel so alone... feel so naked in school- standing alone. haiz but wad can i do? most i CUD do is juz spit it all out on this stupid webpage and hope God reads it...

ok. regegitated all frustrating events of the day. feel beta oreadi. lol :)

i hate myself, really

2006-01-09T07:07:00.000-08:00

shes CHARMING .shes CUTE
shes MYSTERIOUS .shes DEMURE
shes CHARISMATIC .shes LIVELY

the only girl capable of tearing my ailing soul apart and banish it to the fiery depths of hell, yet at the same time can save me frm the miseries of the world wif her purest of smiles.

-buT-

Im not gd enuf.
juz not gd enuf 4 her...

i wanna get close to her... so badly. but at the same time, the exact same admiration for her pulls me back frm getting closer to her, not wanting to burden her wif mie presence... feeling so flawed and imperfect.

but whenever i communicate wif her thru a medium im able to muster dat much courage to face her, and evry session of interaction wif her is juz priceless... as time goes by, juz when i tot i've warmed up to her, the moment i c her, i look at my ugly self and tell myself: turn arnd; walk away.

i hate myself. i really do.

everytime i try to go for the gal of my dreams the same damn mental image of myself materializes in mid-air coupled wif a booming voice dat continuously repeats mie imperfections, again and again and again and again and AGAIN and AGAIN AND AGAIN. but the worse part is: all i can do is walk away, and sigh.

i really feel like crying rite now.
but noone can help me. im juz a loser. always a loser...

~ 2006* ~

2006-01-01T03:59:00.000-08:00

Heyy! wad do'ya noe? its 2oo6~... already!

-LoL-

hmmm... new yr post... wad to write...
haiya its been a rather gd yr 4 me la 2005... made lotsa gd frens, met many new 1s (oso acknowledged plenty of haMhAms, and oso not to 4get mie lovely grandchildren in church), both in church and school, and saw many ppl in different lights and perspective, and also made some gd frens in choir. many new stuff and obstacles to face; new subject combi, alien faces in class, being upper sec 4 the 1st time, it all ironed out really well overall... cant really ask 4 more (well at least it was beta den terrible 2004).

quite thankful 4 all aspects of last yr... maybe except a few disappointments and confusion by 'her'. after all ive seen frm her, i mean i still think shes a rather pleasant gal, but juz dat... duno lei... feel once again dat im redundant in her life... more of a niusance... or maybe juz a play thing 4 passing time wif, sms-ing wif, another face dat came and went. thankfully nth much was there 4 me to hold onto (coz nth much haped), so finally realizing dat i needed to let go was made slightly easier.

but if ur a religious hamstAr-blog fan, u'ld haf read mie last entry (if not, go read it....... NOW). well, another gal has swept me off mie feet. but tis time im not so sure.... almost like shes too nice 4 me to corrupt our relationship wif lustful thoughts of mine ( 'lustful' as in trying to start smth k... dun think sick hor...). yet, at the same time it feels so.... right. but tis time's not like the others. its like, no longer an obssesion, but an admiration, of her strength, will, talent... but at the same time her infidelities forces her to hide behind her own barrier, to protect herself frm hurt...

Ok. here's the thing. i dunno if i wanna help her coz shes a fren, or i feel differently 4 her. but its like, even if its the latter, am i gd enuf? do i match up to her standards? seriously... the confident hamstAr lao hong liao... zi bei-ness has crept into mie furry head...

bBaAaaHhHHh~!

NEW YR! NEW START!! NEW HOPE!!! hope things will look up 4 me this yr... guess mie nu er oso wait 4 her mummy until sian liao... LoL. Cheer me on k?

Smile

2005-12-31T00:52:00.000-08:00

Her laughther,
my joy.
Her sorrow,
my pain.
The beauty that lies
beneath her shame.
The broken smile that shields her soul;
her scars, her fears,
I wanna know...

How to see
How to feel
How to touch
How to soothe
How to care
How to heal
but how...
to give you
back your hope...

I dnt knw

But i have to see
you everyday waring a smile,
A smile u wear coz... you're supposed to.
pls dun't do it...
It hurts ur soul, ur mind, ur will

.............. And me

i care for u.
i feel ur pain.
i noe u feel inferior
like u've fall short of everyone's expectations
like noone wants to sit down and think of you in their free time...
but i do.

so smile
not to hide ur soul
but to open it to the world
Smile

For me

I dunno him anymore

2005-11-16T20:25:00.000-08:00

hey all... congratulations on arriving at this blog page (coz not every1 has this privellege. Feel honoured). well this is mie 1st try making a blog so kindly 4gif any glitches or user-unfriendliness while reading this blog.
hmmm... lets c... this izen exactly the best time 4 me to start mie blog but, as p.bear would say- DAAHHH WEeelllL!!! y not gd time? hmmm... cant gif it a lively start i guess. but wth...
well as some of u noe, all impt, cute, hot, sexy me juz came back frm mie church camp JYC, whiched totally rocked (coz i was in the comm, and partly coz ethel neo was there), but anw, yea. it was supposed to be a closing to a spiritual and self-satisfying camping event... rite? but nNnNNOoOooOoOo- nth gd EVER happens to me. i shud haf known anw. it all seemed too... joyous. so anw, i arrived back at church aft 3 days at sentosa, got off the coach, spent another 2hrs packing up the last of the admin and logistic crap, went 4 lunch wif mie frens, and got home. HOME- dats when it all started to turn bad...
frm this entry, u can c dat mie family ticks exactly like a nuclear reactor- u put 1 really kinky, structure-messed-up molecule into some really vulnerable substance in an enclosed reactor, wad do u get? oh nth much... juz a massive burst of energy as the molecule decomposes, releasing its protons and neutrons lose, then flying over to the other substances, bursting THEM up, causing some really hip KA-BOOM, as everthing else BLOWS UP, then u're left wif NTH AT ALL, leaving NTH but TOTAL CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!! -_-" OK OK!!! im EXAGERATING. but yea u get the idea.
so i got back home, slammed bag on floor, then slammed me on bed, and slept. and slept. and slept. (EH! NOT EASY BEING COMM K?! ... ) den the doorbell rang. it was mie dad. i got up and opened it. but nv wud i haf tot it was last the doorbell i wud ans... (ok la ok la i still alive la! but nid some drama mah) he got in, i walked up to him but den, he handed his laptop bag to mie bro instead, hu was an awkward distance away. ok... dat wasnt exactly an obvious sign at dat pt of time, so i juz fumbled mie half awake head to the sofa and slammed on it. den dinner came shortly aft. well i greeted mie parents to eat and guess wad mie dad said? "EH?! ur back ar?!" ok... dats not all wrong~... but he said it in a way to show sarcasm- not wad he normally does. well, nth much went thru mie head den la... juz the recurring "WTH?" and the ringing of the "smth's up" alarm.
den we ate dinner, had fruits, watched the darn "tong xin yuan" on tv. den. mie bro pulled me aside. "ur so DEAD". u can now imagine me scrtching mie head as i gave mie bro dat "si mi dai ji"(hokkien for "wassup") face. den he explained. he was angry coz- i din call back during camp. ok. NOW~ u imagine ME~ hearing DAT. frm wad i heard, mie dad has been cursing and swearing at me when i was gone, profanity-ing bout me, juz bcoz i nv call back! den i went up to his rm and asked him. he juz said," wad?! where got angry?! y shud I CARE?! crazy..." (all in sarcastic tone)
i went down the stairs feeling all lost now, really lost. i ran over to mie mum and asked her wad exactly haped. and guess wad she said." dun come to me k?! get me stuck btw u 2!" shouting at me. now i was super lost. i juz ran to mie rm and cried. yes. i DO cry. but not all the time la... aft all u dun expect all hunky macho me to keep crying rite? but yea... i juz felt all lost and cried real badly...
anw now mie mum and bro decided dat they had been too selfish to try not to incur mie dad's wrath by toking to me and be bad to me at mie lonelist hour and came over to comfort me. the cold war is still on la, but at least now i noe mie mum and bro actually agrees wif me dat the dude upstairs (mie dad hus now upstairs doing his work in the study-cum-masterbed rm) is juz darn petty la. but wad i really struggled most while crying 4 a gd half an hour was: y did God allow this to happen while i was away serving him? den he gave me an ans- if mie dad can feel so pissed off for me not calling back to him 4 juz a short period of 3 days, how wud mie Father in heaven muz haf felt 4 neglecting him 4 so long?
well he works in wonderous ways i guess... but hope he'ld show himself in more pleasant ways nxt time... lol.